Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
3rd draft script: "They wear the Red and Green"
New draft. Slight changes in a few lines of dialogue. Notable change is cutting the inclusion of Raymond's son at the end as I felt he has no significance in the story apart from someone who raymond cares for and loves. Plus the end is summarised by a narrator with a storyboard panel that bookend's with the storyboard that features in the beginning....doesnt make sense until I have all completed storybaords scanned by the end of the week.
EXT. REDFERN: CORNER OF CHAMERS AND PHILLIPS STREET- VAGUE 1930’S DEPRESSION ERA. EARLY AFTERNOON
A small ant crawls down a pile of sand on a small patch of grass. A small shadow appears over the sand mound and grows until a football is seen and perched on top. A small rabbit in a red and green striped jersey stands over the ball, staring intently. He takes a few steps back, run forward, and kicks the ball towards his friends, who stand at the other side of the spacious front property.
The property is unique in the street. Cold, drab looking terrace houses squash together one by one down the street and halt at the fence line of the property where the small rabbits play. The property is grassy and slops up towards a small hill in the centre where a modest single level house sits.
A Buick slowly drives down the street and slows out the front of the spacious property. The occupant shrouded in shadow peers thru a slightly open window, staring out towards the house.
EXT. REDFERN: CORNER OF CHAMERS AND PHILLIPS STREET- VAGUE 1930’S DEPRESSION ERA. RAYMOND’S FRONT YARD. EARLY AFTERNOON
On the veranda of the house, Raymond, a stocky, middle-aged rabbit repairs a few broken floor boards. He pauses from his work, smiles as he watches the kids play, and then continues hammering.
NORTON (OS)
You there! Rabbit! How much for your land?
RAYMOND looks up to find a rather tall, well built, well dressed rooster standing at the foot of the veranda.
RAYMOND
I’m Sorry?
NORTON
(Impatiently)
How-much -for-your-land?
RAYMOND
My land isn’t for sale, mate.
NORTON
Yes, I know. But you see, rabbit, I own all the property in this street, except yours... So now I’m here to buy it.
RAYMOND
Yeah, well, it’s not for sale mate. Sorry…
RAYMOND goes back to repairing the front porch. As RAYMOND hammers away, NORTON reaches into his coat pocket and plus out a small stack of casino chips, which he proceeds to mindlessly fiddle with in his feathery hand.
NORTON
I wouldn’t bother with that rabbit; it’s due for demolition after I acquire your property.
RAYMOND
Well mate, I’d hate to spoil your plans but I grew up here, I’ve raised my family here, my kids play here with the neighbor’s kids, and we have the best view of Redfern oval a footy fan could want...
NORTON
Listen Rabbit!...
NORTON drops his casino chips on the ground, grabs RAYMOND’s collar and pulls him in close.
...Your land is worth a lot of money to me. I knock your dump down, level the land and 6 Terraces go in. You either sign that lease or...
BIG RABBIT (O.S)
Oy! You got a problem Rooster?!
NORTON looks up to find RAYMOND’s neighbors have arrived looking quite concerned at NORTON’s threats towards RAYMOND. Several large Rabbits stand at the front wearing Football Jerseys, obviously from the local team.
NORTON
You’re everywhere aren’t you? Just like vermin.
RAYMOND
Nah mate, they’re called friends. You should try it; you might not be such a bastard.
NORTON
That’s right, and this bastard’s gonna throw your mates out of their houses.
RAYMOND
You can’t do that.
NORTON
(menacing but quiet)
Then sign over your deed!
RAYMOND looks over at the small crowd of his neighbors, a sad look on his face. Looking down, he notices the small pile of Casino chips NORTON had previously dropped. RAYMOND slowly smiles.
RAYMOND
Tell you what...you can have my land for free if you want to make a bet...
NORTON
For free? What sort of bet?
RAYMOND
You’re a big rooster...do you box?
NORTON
I boxed for years rabbit. East Sydney Golden Gloves three years running.
RAYMOND
Ok then, you pick any one of those blokes over there in the Rabbitohs jersey; you win, I sign over my land and we’ll be out by tomorrow. You lose...I keep my land, these blokes and their families are guaranteed to keep their homes, and you get the hell off my property.
NORTON
Hmm...ok rabbit, It’s a bet.
NORTON looks over the rabbits in the crowd. From his point of view we see a number of rather large rabbits in football jerseys. He pauses and glances down at quite obviously the smallest rabbit there. He smiles.
NORTON
Him.
RAYMOND jumps in between the small rabbit and NORTON
RAYMOND
Nah mate, no deal, he’s...
NORTON
It’s him or the bet’s off.
RAYMOND
...alright, but you’d better go behind the bushes. I don’t want the kids to see this.
NORTON and the small Rabbit go behind the bushes. Suddenly, the fight breaks out; the sound of bottles breaking, trees rustling, punches and distressed rooster crows flood the street.
As feathers fly out from behind the bushes, the locals begin to laugh. Some of the neighbors shake RAYMOND’s hand; others pat him on the back.
The locals laugh and the sun begins to fade across the roofs of the Terrace Houses. White feather flutter into the wind.
VOICE OVER
And so the Rooster from Eastern Suburbs, trying to pick on the smallest of the bunnies, learnt a few lessons that day...that quality of life is worth more than quantity of assets...that true mates will always band together...that it’s not the size of the rabbit in the fight, but the size of the fight in the rabbit...and that foaming from the mouth and blood shot eyes are a sure sign of rabies.
END
EXT. REDFERN: CORNER OF CHAMERS AND PHILLIPS STREET- VAGUE 1930’S DEPRESSION ERA. EARLY AFTERNOON
A small ant crawls down a pile of sand on a small patch of grass. A small shadow appears over the sand mound and grows until a football is seen and perched on top. A small rabbit in a red and green striped jersey stands over the ball, staring intently. He takes a few steps back, run forward, and kicks the ball towards his friends, who stand at the other side of the spacious front property.
The property is unique in the street. Cold, drab looking terrace houses squash together one by one down the street and halt at the fence line of the property where the small rabbits play. The property is grassy and slops up towards a small hill in the centre where a modest single level house sits.
A Buick slowly drives down the street and slows out the front of the spacious property. The occupant shrouded in shadow peers thru a slightly open window, staring out towards the house.
EXT. REDFERN: CORNER OF CHAMERS AND PHILLIPS STREET- VAGUE 1930’S DEPRESSION ERA. RAYMOND’S FRONT YARD. EARLY AFTERNOON
On the veranda of the house, Raymond, a stocky, middle-aged rabbit repairs a few broken floor boards. He pauses from his work, smiles as he watches the kids play, and then continues hammering.
NORTON (OS)
You there! Rabbit! How much for your land?
RAYMOND looks up to find a rather tall, well built, well dressed rooster standing at the foot of the veranda.
RAYMOND
I’m Sorry?
NORTON
(Impatiently)
How-much -for-your-land?
RAYMOND
My land isn’t for sale, mate.
NORTON
Yes, I know. But you see, rabbit, I own all the property in this street, except yours... So now I’m here to buy it.
RAYMOND
Yeah, well, it’s not for sale mate. Sorry…
RAYMOND goes back to repairing the front porch. As RAYMOND hammers away, NORTON reaches into his coat pocket and plus out a small stack of casino chips, which he proceeds to mindlessly fiddle with in his feathery hand.
NORTON
I wouldn’t bother with that rabbit; it’s due for demolition after I acquire your property.
RAYMOND
Well mate, I’d hate to spoil your plans but I grew up here, I’ve raised my family here, my kids play here with the neighbor’s kids, and we have the best view of Redfern oval a footy fan could want...
NORTON
Listen Rabbit!...
NORTON drops his casino chips on the ground, grabs RAYMOND’s collar and pulls him in close.
...Your land is worth a lot of money to me. I knock your dump down, level the land and 6 Terraces go in. You either sign that lease or...
BIG RABBIT (O.S)
Oy! You got a problem Rooster?!
NORTON looks up to find RAYMOND’s neighbors have arrived looking quite concerned at NORTON’s threats towards RAYMOND. Several large Rabbits stand at the front wearing Football Jerseys, obviously from the local team.
NORTON
You’re everywhere aren’t you? Just like vermin.
RAYMOND
Nah mate, they’re called friends. You should try it; you might not be such a bastard.
NORTON
That’s right, and this bastard’s gonna throw your mates out of their houses.
RAYMOND
You can’t do that.
NORTON
(menacing but quiet)
Then sign over your deed!
RAYMOND looks over at the small crowd of his neighbors, a sad look on his face. Looking down, he notices the small pile of Casino chips NORTON had previously dropped. RAYMOND slowly smiles.
RAYMOND
Tell you what...you can have my land for free if you want to make a bet...
NORTON
For free? What sort of bet?
RAYMOND
You’re a big rooster...do you box?
NORTON
I boxed for years rabbit. East Sydney Golden Gloves three years running.
RAYMOND
Ok then, you pick any one of those blokes over there in the Rabbitohs jersey; you win, I sign over my land and we’ll be out by tomorrow. You lose...I keep my land, these blokes and their families are guaranteed to keep their homes, and you get the hell off my property.
NORTON
Hmm...ok rabbit, It’s a bet.
NORTON looks over the rabbits in the crowd. From his point of view we see a number of rather large rabbits in football jerseys. He pauses and glances down at quite obviously the smallest rabbit there. He smiles.
NORTON
Him.
RAYMOND jumps in between the small rabbit and NORTON
RAYMOND
Nah mate, no deal, he’s...
NORTON
It’s him or the bet’s off.
RAYMOND
...alright, but you’d better go behind the bushes. I don’t want the kids to see this.
NORTON and the small Rabbit go behind the bushes. Suddenly, the fight breaks out; the sound of bottles breaking, trees rustling, punches and distressed rooster crows flood the street.
As feathers fly out from behind the bushes, the locals begin to laugh. Some of the neighbors shake RAYMOND’s hand; others pat him on the back.
The locals laugh and the sun begins to fade across the roofs of the Terrace Houses. White feather flutter into the wind.
VOICE OVER
And so the Rooster from Eastern Suburbs, trying to pick on the smallest of the bunnies, learnt a few lessons that day...that quality of life is worth more than quantity of assets...that true mates will always band together...that it’s not the size of the rabbit in the fight, but the size of the fight in the rabbit...and that foaming from the mouth and blood shot eyes are a sure sign of rabies.
END
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Section 3 Storyboard roughs
Roughs for section 3- layouts. Thankfully, after the bulk of the story, I planned alot of angle re-uses.Houses-Redfern research
This is almost perfect to the street concept- apart from the other side of the street being Redfern Oval and bushes and the road being more 'open' in terms of space like the streets below. The street is to be flat instead of the slope.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Section 2- script-Storyboard work in progress
Storyboards for section 2 of the script- still dont have a title yet, but anyways, I press on with my boards and will also see how Amanda's boards are going.
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