Sample of 2nd draft script.

Below is the opening sequence of my second draft of my script....yes, I'm running with the idea of the Lion and the Zebra. Ordinarliy, I don't watch anmiated films with animals, probably because there's so many of them...seriously, they drive me nuts. Maybe because with every good animal film oput, there's at least 4 others that come out at the same time ripping it off and cramming the same characterisations/themes/current pop hit etc.etc.

As you can see by the profile, my movie taste varies but essential I like either something action packed or something that's well constructed script-wise, character-wise, dialogue-wise or storyboard-wise; That's just me. (But remember, I hate blogging as it seems to the reader that my opinion is more valid than the next person, which is not the case. I'm simply stating my likes and dislikes rather impatiently with the keyboard so I don't want comments saying "What! You like good moives and you put Schwarzenegger films down?!"....)

Anyways, I'm posting some of the script as it may be the last time anyone ses the idead here as I plan to kull this back- 2 reasons really:

1. Length: I want this film done THIS year so I dont want to be animating till I'm 30 just to get it finished

and

2. I want to experiment with what I noticed "American Gangster" did. And that was showing scenes of the character's life as it was happening, with no real lead-up as such or background information to the scene. It was just 'this is going on', piece it together yourself what what's presented now and later.

Quick example: Opening scene with Denzel Washington setting a guy on fire- You don't have a clue in this 5 seconds or so sequence who the guy is, who Denzel is or why he's ssetting a guy on fire- BUT you instantly get an idea and/or an opinion of Denzel and begin fastly piecing together the events and the story by the time you see him again walking down the street with his mentor.

Characters come into a scene from somewhere and is going somewhere (Ed Hooks), so in relation to the script: Norton (the Lion) is coming into the bar scene after a confrontation with Terry the monkey (gaining infromation from that) which leads him to the situation that the viewers will be shown. (This will make more sense when I do a proper synopsis and 3rd draft, or you can get the idea from the storyboard ideas previously posted).

Anyways, enjoy, see what you think, it's only progress (you'll notice this is set in London with no indication of the period in time. Also not: the title "the Sting" isn't linked to my reference/inspiration for the next incarnation of the script...it will all make sense later, trust me.)

‘The Sting’
Second Draft
September 2007

By Paul Mason
S2585694

EXT. “Grasslands BAR”- Downtown London- late Night
Pouring rain hammers down onto the cold dark pavements of a deserted London street. In the vague blackness of the night, faint light can be seen to come from the small hatched windows of the bottom section of an old three storey building.

The bottom section of the building houses a small public bar. The outside of which is lined with scattered garbage cans and narrow lane ways.
The name of the pub, “Grasslands Bar” glows in a neon green at the top of the doorway. Despite the lateness, the pub seems to have a small gathering of people inside.

Int. “Grasslands BAR”- Downtown London- late Night
The bar is quiet and the lights are dim. The inner architecture of the bar is constructed from thick wooden beams like that of an old style inn, with wooden tables and chairs throughout. The overall look resembles a steak house restaurant. Dry grass lines the floor.
At the corner head of the bar under a low hanging light, three men are gathered quietly. As we draw closer we realise the men are in fact wild animals.

TOMMY, an antelope, and FRANKLIN, a wilder beast, both sit at the bar deep in contemplation and sipping from pints of beer. SEDRICK, an old ZEBRA, cleaning beer glasses behind the bar with a tea towel. He glances up at the clock on the wall. It is 11.30.

Sedrick
I’m worried about Terry lads...it’s not like him to be late...

Ext. “Grasslands BAR”- Downtown London- late Night

TWO DARK FIGURES are scuffling in a narrow alleyway outside the side of the Grasslands bar, lit slightly from the Green haze of the neon sign. The LARGER FIGURE, in a soaking wet suit, punches the OTHER FIGURE mercilessly to the pavement. As the OTHER FIGURE staggers to his feet, the LARGER FIGURE grabs him by the shoulders and tosses him into a brick wall. The sound of Garbage cans scattering is masked by the pouring rain.

NORTON (larger figure)
Come now Terry, I think you’re telling me Porky pies.

NORTON kicks TERRY in the stomach. TERRY, a chimpanzee, slowly struggles onto all fours. He looks wearily up at NORTON, who is standing over him. He is revealed to be a lion.

Terry
I...mmm...(spits out blood)I’m telling the truth! If I had any dosh gov’, I’d give it to ya!

NORTON
You owe me money Tez and where do I find you? About to go into the Jack Tar! Is Sedrick giving out free Britney’s now, ay?

NORTON kicks TERRY in the ribs. A scrunched up sheet of paper falls out of TERRY’s jacket. NORTON bends down to pick it up, TERRY notices the paper and tries to get to it first but NORTON shoves him out of the way and onto his back.

NORTON
Allo...What’s this?

NORTON unravels the paper. The Page has a large Photo of NORTON, which looks like it was taken zoomed in from a hidden camera. The letters on the top of the page read “£1,000 Reward”.

NORTON
Why, that’s a pretty picture Terry..

Terry
It...it’s not what you think Gov’...!

NORTON
(Menacingly)
Well I guess you’d better fill me in then...

NORTON’s shadow blocks the light, shrouding TERRY’s terrified face.

FRANKLIN (VO)
I’m sure he’s fine Sed. Bugger’s probably out enjoying the stroll in the rain...

...more next post.